The AM commute

Ever hear, “It’s such a grey, dreary day, let’s go for a drive in the country!”? Well, no wonder you like it – you only see it when the sky is blue! Plenty of people sighing for country life wouldn’t last a minute out here.* Take this quiz, and find out whether you’re ready for such a simple life.

1. The correct response to a dinner invitation is:

a. “Have your girl call my girl.”
b.  ” What can I bring?”
c. “Why thank you, that sounds lovely!”
d. “I’ll pencil it in.”

2. Place these in correct calendar order:

a. berry picking
b. wood cutting
c. gardening
d. Christmas
e. crappie fishing
f. deer hunting
g.  hay baling
h. canning

3. If you live in the country,

a. you don’t have a McDonalds
b. your people prefer your biscuits over McDonald’s
c. McDonalds is too far to drive on a regular basis
d. Krystal at the drive-thru remembers you take cream and sugar.
(NB this really happened to me)

4. If you wait for 2 cars before turning onto the highway, you think:

a. “Cripes! Where’s all the traffic coming from?”
b. “Great! I’ll be at work in time to finish up the Gribley proposal.”

5. Which of the following is a critical career skill?

a.       Drafting a concise cover letter
b.      Applying mascara in traffic
c.       Getting the string on a feedsack to unzip the right direction
d.       Networking

6.  “White Mule” is a brand of

a. work glove
b. chewing tobacco
c. cornbread mix
d. tractor starter fluid

7. In which crisis could you not cope?

a. Water pipes froze
b. what’s a ‘crisis’?
c. electric lines down
d.  livestock you didn’t know was bred going into delivery
e.  Out of firewood and heating oil
f. All of above on same day

8. Your housekeeping would be simplified greatly by development of:

a. Robotics
b. Safe, effective drain cleaner
c. Floor covering the color of cow shit
d.  Central vacuum system

9.  Which of the following terms is complimentary, and unrelated to the subject’s body type?

a.       Heavy set
b.       Big-boned
c.        Healthy
d.       Stout

10. “Quarter crack” refers to….

a.       A minimal quantity of a street drug
b.       A condition of the equine hoof
c.        Plumbers’ clothing style
d.       A cheap comment

11. A “Red Jacket” is a

a.       political affiliation
b.      stinging insect
c.       bad sunburn
d.      water pump

12. En route to the barn on a snowy day, you become aware of a thorn in your boot. You

a. stop immediately and remove it
b. wait till Spring when you have to take the boots off anyway
c. go back to the house and remove it
d. remove it in the barn when you’re done feeding

13. In the event of your demise, your wish is to be:

a.   embalmed and placed in a marble sarcophagus
b. cryonically preserved
c. composted
d. buried at sea

Answers: 1, b; 2, c-e-g-a-h-b-f-d; 3, d; 4, a; 5, c; 6, a; 7,f; 8, a; 9, d; 10, b; 11,d; 12, b; 13, c.

Your score:
0-4 – don’t sell the condo.
5-7 – just keep watching those “Waltons” and “Little House” reruns.
8-9 – might wanta look for a pair of good boots
10+ – you doing anything Sa’rday?

The PM Commute

© Shady Grove Farm, 2003

* Remember from back in the 80’s, “The Prairie Look”? Gingham, ruffles, flounces? The only people who could wear it were frail, willowy women who’d be useless on an actual prairie.

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